Bonding Time With My Robotic Clone
by THEdragon-of-rainbows
Summary: Noodle and Cyborg Noodle aren't getting along very well, so Murdoc has a plan to make them get along. Will it work when Noodle dreams of beating the robot with a crowbar? Oneshot, no pairings. Phase 3.


Another Phase 3 fanfiction, as requested! Don't worry guys, my next one WILL be about Del!

Gorillaz belong to Jamie Hewlett and Damon Albarn.

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The shore of Plastic Beach looked like a robotic horror movie scene. Cyborg Noodle lay on the floor, oil leaking out of her in a big puddle, like blood. Bits of her internal metal frame were sticking out of her synthetic skin, like broken bones. Her circuits and wires were hanging out like exposed organs and guts, and one of her eyeballs had popped out of its socket and rolled into the polluted ocean that surrounded the island. The real Noodle grinned as she wiped some of the blo- err, oil, off the crowbar she was holding. 2-D and Murdoc had been cheering her on during the whole massacre.

"What should I do now?" Noodle asked Murdoc, looking at her horribly beaten up robotic clone, then at him.

"WAKE UP!" Murdoc shouted in reply, sounding angry yet smiling at the same time.

"Huh?" Noodle mumbled as she blinked a bit and opened her eyes to the ceiling of the Plastic Beach study room. To her disappointment, it was just a dream. but it was a damn good one, and she wanted to make it come true. Because there were no rooms left in the building, Noodle had to sleep on the floor of the study room. It kinda sucked, but it was better than sleeping outside, like Russel. He had to wake up everyday with seagull and pelican poop on his head.

"Face-ache made us breakfast!" Murdoc grumbled loudly. "Cyborg is still recharging..." The bass player handed Noodle a bowl of what appeared to be Rice Bubbles in milk. Noodle didn't see what Murdoc was so angry about. She would rather eat something prepared by the singer than by her artificial intelligence twin.

"Murdoc, something's horribly wrong!" 2-D's voice yelled out, frightening the guitarist a bit. "It won't snap, crackle and pop! It's supposed to snap, crackle and pop!" Noodle put a spoonful of the breakfast in her mouth then spat it back out.

"That's because you just poured actual uncooked rice into the bowl, 2-D!" Noodle replied with a bit of a laugh. Then she mumbled to herself, "I think I'll just have toast for breakfast." Meanwhile, Russel was outside picking the dead sea creatures out from between his toes when he heard footsteps behind him, followed by a few beeps. He turned around and saw Cyborg Noodle holding out a bowl of 'Rice Bubbles' for him.

"Huh? Oh, no thanks, I'm having seafood for breakfast." Russel said. "Aren't you supposed to be recharging in a closet, anyway?" He then picked a rather terrified shark out of the water and bit its head off casually. Cyborg dropped the bowl onto the ground and went back inside. Murdoc was quite surprised to see her, but angry that she got up so late.

"Damnit, Cyborg!" He yelled. "Why couldn't you have unplugged yourself and made us a proper breakfast before 2-D tried to do it and messed up?" Cyborg replied by making a mechanical buzzing sound and looking at the real Noodle, who stopped happily munching on a slice of toast to give her robotic clone a nasty snarl. The android then walked over to 2-D, who ducked a bit in fear of being randomly beated up by her.

"Pull my finger." Cyborg Noodle said in her somewhat robotic voice, lifting her arm and pointing her index finger at the singer. He cautiosly reached his own hand out to pull it.

"Oka-AGDJKAKJAJKJAGJKAGJUGAUBUWBK!" 2-D screamed as he was shocked with approximately 6,023 volts of electricity through Cyborg's finger.

"Stop killing my singer!" Murdoc yelled, quickly pulling her away. "You've been acting up lately, and with the constant nastiness between you and... Uhh... REAL Noodle, living on this trashy little island has just become DIFFICULT!" The bass player gently scratched his chin as he thought of an idea. "Noodle! Cyborg! I think it's time you two got to know eachother a little better. You need some bonding time! For the whole day, you two shall both do your daily activities together, and stop being so hateful. It's messing up the band."

"What!" Noodle yelled, spitting toast crumbs everywhere. "There's no way I'm spending time with that thing! Besides, what would YOU know about socialising with others and making friends?"

"Just... Just go practice guitar or something..." Murdoc groaned, pulling his nasty angry face which makes little children cry. Noodle folded her arms and stormed into the recording room, just wanting to get away from the situation. To her disgust, Cyborg Noodle followed, thinking Murdoc's words were her orders. When they were both in the room, Noodle was just about to say something nasty when the door slammed shut and was locked.

"Murdoc, you did NOT just do that!" Noodle yelled, running up to the door, and trying to kick it open. She could hear a laughing from outside. No matter how hard she tried, the door wouldn't smash open in the dramatic way she hoped. Cyborg Noodle just stood behind her, silently.

For the next fifteen minutes, the two 'twins' stood at opposite ends of the room, avoiding contact, until the real guitarist quietly took a seat in front of one of the computers. Cyborg Noodle turned to face her, watching curiously as she began playing computer games.

"Damn... it's multiplayer..." Noodle muttered with a sigh. She jumped a bit when Cyborg sat down in front of the computer next to her. The robotic clone began pulling some of the wires from the computer and plugging them into herself.

"Program Identified- atttempting to run 'Halo'." She said blankly, before turning her head twitchily towards the real Noodle with a big, creepy, Murdoc-style grin. "Halo is more fun multiplayer... I can play Halo, too..." The two guitarists both clenched their fists at the same time and began furiously battling eachother on Halo for the next half an hour. Unfortunately, Cyborg was a hacker and kept cheating to defeat Noodle.

"No fair, you stupid machine!" Noodle yelled, switching off the computer by throwing it on the floor in rage. "You keep hacking the game to make me lose!"

"Defeated opponent, Username:'Real Noodle'. Ahahahaaaa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a" Cyborg laughed, as she began to malfunction and immitate a broken CD. "A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-" Noodle slapped her in the face in order to stop the malfunction. After a brief moment of awkward silence, Noodle walked over to the window and stared at the ocean.

"Such a lovely day to go swimming." She said. "Such a shame we're locked in this room"

"I cannot make contact with liquid." Cyborg replied, unplugging herself from the computer. "It will cause damge to me. Also, The ocean surrounding Plastic beach is heavily polluted. You would not want to swim in it." Noodle didn't reply. She just stared out the window, feeling uncomfortable with the presence of her rather creepy robot twin, who could easily blast her head off in seconds. The next hour or so was spent randomly playing short guitar tunes, by either of the two. One would get angry whenever the other 'copied' what they were playing.

"If Murdoc wanted you to be like me as much as possible, why did he give you the ability to shoot bullets from your mouth?" Noodle reluctantly asked. "You've already got plenty of hand-held weapons. Being able to fire from you mouth is nothing like me at all."

"But you can projectile vomit." Cyborg replied humorously, to Noodle's disgust. The real guitarist hurled a nearby jazz magazine Cyborg's face, but she dodged it. Noodle folded her arms and sighed.

"It's so boring here!" She complained. "Now I know how 2-D must feel, being trapped in that underwater prison! Even if he was occupied by terror..."

"I rest in a dark closet most of the day, charging." Cyborg said emotionlessly, catching Noodle's attention. "Or else I am following CMD's commands. It often involves retrieving alchoholic beverages or exterminating arriving threats, such as pirates." Noodle couldn't help but feel slightly sorry for her cyborg clone, even if it was just... a robot.

"EAT YER BLOODY FOOD OR I'LL SHOVE IT DOWN YER THROAT!" Murdoc's voice blurted, from outside the recording room.

"What was that?" Noodle asked, turning to face the door.

"It's Master giving our singer his 'lunch'." Cyborg replied, unphased, as if she'd heard it plenty of times before.

"No! I can't eat this it's terriBlAARGURLBGRLAARUGB!" Stuart yelled, his voice sounding muffled though the door. Noodle ran up to the door and began trying furiously to open it.

"Murdoc! Leave him alone!" She yelled "If he doen't want to eat it, he doesn't have to! Force-feeding is cruel!" Cyborg Noodle grinned slightly, still standing at the back of the room, facing away from Noodle. This made Noodle angry, as she could somehow totally tell what Cyborg was doing.

"It's not funny, robo-freak!" Noodle growled. "You nearly shocked him to death this morning!" Cyborg spun her head around 180 degrees to face Noodle. It was really creepy.

"The octopus was clogging my internal systems, I had to regurgitate it." She replied. Noodle scratched her head in confusion. Perhaps Cyborg Noodle hadn't quite understood what she had said to her. While trying to ignore the sounds of 2-D being painfully force-fed his most likely horrid lunch, Noodle decided to get some luch of her own. She picked a banana off one of the drum machines, not noticing the cockroach that crawled out from under it. Cyborg, however, pulled out her guns and blasted the bug to dust. Noodle quickly turned around and examined the smoking holes in the floor as she took a bite out of the banana.

"So instead of food, you get your energy though a bunch of wires shoved into you body?" Noodle asked, taking another bite of the fruit.

"Correct. My current battery level is at 57 percent." Cyborg replied blankly. "I will remain functional until 7:13pm or until recharged again." Suddenly, the whole island shook a bit. Russel's big white eyes stared into the window of the recording room.

"Aww, it's nice to see you too getting along!" Russel said with a laugh. Noodle felt embarrassed.

"She's not my friend!" She yelled defensively. "We're locked in here together! Get us out!"

"Now I'm sure Murdoc will let you out sooner or later." Russel replied, before jumping into the ocean to chase a pod of orcas. "Your days are numbered, Shamu!" At that moment, Murdoc unlocked the door. Both guitarists walked out, relieved to finally be out of the room.

"So, did you learn to live with eachother yet?" Murdoc asked, rolling his eyes and hoping for a positive answer.

"Plastic beach is not soup, there can only be ONE Noodle!" The original Noodle said angrily, glaring at her artificial intelligence twin.

"Humans are inferior to technology!" Cyborg replied, giving Noodle the same glare back.

"In that case, we must settle this once and for all... There will only be one winner..." Murdoc said. Everything at that moment got really intense and the suspense killed one of Murdoc's pet fish. "You shall have a DANCE OFF!"

"Uhhh... Can't we just have an epic gruesome fight to the death?" Noodle suggested. "It's really what most of our fans are hoping for..."

"But there's a twist!" Murdoc added. "The winner gets to beat the loser to death with a crowbar!" Noodle grinned nastily at the thought of finally being able to relive her awesome dream. Even though she had only dreamed it last night. Murdoc led The two guitarist 'twins out onto the shore of Plastic Beach. They both faced eachother, staring into eachother's eyes angrily. Russel and 2-D watched from a safe distance, as Murdoc raised his finger towards the 'play' button on the old, dusty CD player.

"Ready... Set... DAAAANNCE!" Murdoc called out, pressing the button. 'Glitter Freeze' played loudly through the low-quality speakers. Not wasting a second, Noodle began to do the exact same dance she performed during the music video to 'Dare', while Cyborg was doing the robot because it was the only dance move she knew. It continued this way for the whole song.

"Aaaaand, STOP!" Murdoc called out as the song ended. Both Noodle and her robot clone folded their arms and grinned, not the slightest bit tired from the event. "It was a tough challenge for both of you, I'm sure, but there can only be one winner. And the winner is... Wait, who was even judging anyway?"

"I say real Noodle wins." 2-D said, raising his hand.

"Me too." Russel added. Of course Noodle would have won, because everyone loves her 'Dare' dance.

"Okay Noodle..." Murdoc said sadly, pulling a crowbar out of the ground (Which was totally made out of oceanic pollution, may I add) and handing it to her. "You now have permission to savagely beat my wonderful cyborg creation into a metallic pulp." Noodle Grabbed the crowbar and held it above her head, ready to start the massacre, just like in her dream. Cyborg stood there emotionlessly, as the real Noodle began to lower the weapon slowly, instead of pounding the robot's head to pieces.

"After spending most of the day with you... I feel wrong about smashing you to peices..." She said reluctantly. "You aren't as horrible as I used to think. I feel like you can, and should, be put to a good use intead of being wasted and ending up as additional scrap metal on this island." Murdoc, Russel and 2-D cheered and applauded Noodle's beautiful little speech. Murdoc's lock-them-in-a-room method had really worked after all. Cyborg held out her hand to Noodle, and she shook it proudly.

Later that night, Cyborg Noodle was put to good use. Real Noodle sent her off to a recycling company, where she was melted down and rebuilt into several new iPods, which would later be used by teenagers to listen to Gorillaz music.


End file.
